Cheesus Christ

Bruh, look at this dood. He over here lookin like a triangle. Bruh give Mickey Mouse back his gloves. Dude got those egg shaped eyes. Why you givin thumbs up my dude? Ain't nothin to be givin thumbs up over. My bruh over here got noodle arms. Why you got a tongue? What do you eat with that big gaping mouth my guy????

Backstory
Cheesus Christ was born in 000 BC (Before Cheese). He was born on a pirate ship with his brother Hamburger Helper. Cheesus Christ lived out his life in Poland completely in poverty trying to find scraps of food to eat, and before you ask what the actual fuck he had for his diet, I don't fucking know stop asking me you bitch. Cheesus Christ also had to avoid getting eaten by rats and was constantly on the run. His brother Hamburger Helper abandoned him at a young age due to Cheesus Christ's ketamine addiction. On September 1, 1939, the Nazis invaded Poland and ate all of the cheese, including Cheesus Christ himself who was first brutally murdered using a cheese grater and his dead body was consumed by a really fat Nazi guy.

After Cheesus Christ's death, Hamburger Helper wanted to avenge his brother after regret for abandoning him, so he became the ruthless dictator of Cuba under the persona of Osvaldo Dorticós Torrado. He then decided to cause the Cuban Missile Crisis for revenge.

Personality
Cheesus Christ was depressed and also addicted to ketamine. He would constantly tell Doug Lawrence to shut up. His favorite cartoon was The Powerpuff Girls (2016) despite not being alive to see even the original series premiere. Aside from this he has no personality, he's fucking boring.

Trivia

 * Cheese tastes pretty good.
 * Cheesus Christ is one of the writers of the SpongeBob episode New Leaf.
 * His favorite SpongeBob episode is The Frycook Games.
 * Haha it's like that one Animaniacs episode with the fidget spinner factory.
 * Minecraf
 * Minecraf